Choosing Your Wedding Party

wedding party

Sure, the decisions about your wedding gown and honeymoon destination are big ones. But they’re not the only tricky decisions you’ll make in this epic life adventure called wedding planning.

There’s also the matter of who will be in your wedding party. And who won’t be. Will your older sister be miffed if you don’t ask her to be Maid of Honour? Do you have to ask your husband-to-be’s only sister to be a bridesmaid .. even though you’re not friends? What if some of your besties have dated some of his besties and now they’re exes .. of the unfriendly variety?

A version of Family Feud may be a fun option for your wedding shower, but you don’t want the real thing to happen for your big day.

Sure, the decisions about your wedding gown and honeymoon destination are big ones. But they’re not the only tricky decisions you’ll make in this epic life adventure called wedding planning.

There’s also the matter of who will be in your wedding party. And who won’t be. Will your older sister be miffed if you don’t ask her to be Maid of Honour? Do you have to ask your husband-to-be’s only sister to be a bridesmaid .. even though you’re not friends? What if some of your besties have dated some of his besties and now they’re exes .. of the unfriendly variety?

A version of Family Feud may be a fun option for your wedding shower, but you don’t want the real thing to happen for your big day. Here are some suggestions to make the process a little easier.

Don’t make any snap decisions. Think about it. Give yourself time to consider choices from all angles. Will the person be helpful, supportive and a good fit for your group? Based on your knowledge, does the person have the resources–time and money–to commit?

Do remember, as the saying goes, “blood is thicker than water.” In Top Tips to Choosing Your Wedding Party, author Jessica Zaleski recommends you include brothers and sisters. In her words, “Not to sound like your mom, but think about it: Even if you’re not particularly close to his sister or her brother, siblings are going to be around well past your 10-year anniversary, and chances are, you’ll become closer over the years. If you come from a big family and you can’t possibly include everyone, draw the line at teenagers. Instead, make them a part of the ceremony by asking them to pass out programs or seat guests.”

That being said, if you really don’t get along, and choosing your sib or his sib is apt to cause you all grief, don’t put yourself through it. It’s your day.

Do be mindful of how you extend the invitation. As the experts at Martha Stewart Weddings suggest, “Invite people to participate in a way that allows them to decline gracefully, and don’t insist on an immediate answer. If anyone is unable to afford the associated costs, you might tactfully offer to help out if you can.”

Don’t be offended, if somebody says no. People, even your nearest and dearest, have all sorts of things going on in life. If they can be in your wedding party, great. If not, no biggie. It’s still going to be an amazing day, full of love and joy.

 

Don’t make any snap decisions. Think about it. Give yourself time to consider choices from all angles. Will the person be helpful, supportive and a good fit for your group? Based on your knowledge, does the person have the resources–time and money–to commit?

Do remember, as the saying goes, “blood is thicker than water.” In Top Tips to Choosing Your Wedding Party, author Jessica Zaleski recommends you include brothers and sisters. In her words, “Not to sound like your mom, but think about it: Even if you’re not particularly close to his sister or her brother, siblings are going to be around well past your 10-year anniversary, and chances are, you’ll become closer over the years. If you come from a big family and you can’t possibly include everyone, draw the line at teenagers. Instead, make them a part of the ceremony by asking them to pass out programs or seat guests.”

That being said, if you really don’t get along, and choosing your sib or his sib is apt to cause you all grief, don’t put yourself through it. It’s your day.

Do be mindful of how you extend the invitation. As the experts at Martha Stewart Weddings suggest, “Invite people to participate in a way that allows them to decline gracefully, and don’t insist on an immediate answer. If anyone is unable to afford the associated costs, you might tactfully offer to help out if you can.”

Don’t be offended, if somebody says no. People, even your nearest and dearest, have all sorts of things going on in life. If they can be in your wedding party, great. If not, no biggie. It’s still going to be an amazing day, full of love and joy.

 

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