Narrowing down the guest list is one of the most challenging tasks on the wedding to-do list. Budget constraints, space limitations, family politics and social expectations come into play as you work together to arrive at a number that will work.
One variable to be considered is the plus-one. When you and your spouse-to-be are two of the first in your social groups to tie the knot—and friends are still single—how do you decide who gets to bring an escort? Fortunately, there are some widely honoured etiquette guidelines to make those decisions easier.
Who gets a plus-one
Married, Engaged or Cohabiting Guests
Anyone in a serious, committed partnership should get a plus-one. This includes married guests, engaged guests and guests in long-term relationships.
Members of the Wedding Party
Bridesmaids, groomsmen and other attendants usually get a plus-one as a courtesy, when appropriate.
Guests Travelling Long Distances
If some of your guests are travelling far to attend, it’s considerate to give them a plus-one so they aren’t alone.
Guests Who Only Know a Few People
If someone won’t know many guests at the wedding, couples often offer a plus-one to help them feel comfortable.
The Finer Points
Address Invitations Clearly
Don’t leave people wondering. When the invitation is addressed to Charlie Smith and Guest, the recipient knows he can bring a date or companion. When it’s addressed to Charlie Smith, he alone is being invited.
Consider Seating
When planning assigned seating for a dinner, be mindful of the comfort of your single friends. Avoid a “singles” table. It’s better to seat guests with people they know or who share common interests. You want people to mingle and feel at ease.
Exceptions
Don’t be surprised if someone who didn’t get a plus-one reaches out to ask if they can bring a date. Relationships materialize and change all the time. If your budget and venue seating allow, make space for the extra person. If it’s not possible, be kind, respond honestly in person or over the phone and reassure your guest that he or she will have a great time—no escort needed.
