The Honeymoon Edit
By Margot Hale
The honeymoon question used to have one obvious answer: the two of you, somewhere far away, alone. It’s not that simple anymore and it certainly wasn’t for us. Our son was already here by the time we got married and neither of us wanted to spend the first trip of our marriage away from him just because tradition said the honeymoon was supposed to be adults-only. So, we brought him. It wasn’t a compromise. It was just honest about what our family actually looked like on day one of being Newly-weds.
What a family-moon actually is
A family-moon is exactly what it sounds like: the honeymoon trip includes the kids and it’s become a lot more common simply because more couples today have children together before the wedding ever happens. It’s less about romance in the traditional sense and more about the first real trip as a married family — new rhythms, a little less structured than the wedding itself and none of the strangeness of leaving part of your family behind to celebrate becoming one.
What a traditional honeymoon still offers, and why it still matters
I’ll say this honestly: we haven’t done the just-the-two-of-us trip yet and I don’t think that makes our choice the wrong one. But the case for it is real. A wedding is emotionally loud — lots of moving parts, lots of people, lots of logistics — and a traditional honeymoon gives a couple something a family trip structurally can’t: uninterrupted time to just be a couple, without also actively parenting, before the everyday routine picks back up. We’re already talking about that trip as a “someday soon,” not a “someday maybe.”
How couples are actually deciding between them
The honest answer, more often than not: they’re not choosing one over the other forever, they’re staggering both. A family-moon first — long enough to feel intentional, short enough not to be exhausting — with a proper adults-only trip planned for later, once things have settled. That’s exactly the plan we landed on. It doesn’t have to be either/or; it just has to be in an order that matches where your family actually is right now.
If you’re planning a family-moon
Age-appropriate pacing matters more here than destination. A trip built around one long, ambitious itinerary tends to break down fast with kids involved — better to plan fewer, simpler things done well than a packed schedule everyone’s fighting through by day three. Building in unstructured downtime isn’t a lesser version of the trip; for a young family still finding its rhythm, it’s often where the actual bonding happens.
If you’re protecting the traditional honeymoon
Be honest with yourselves about what you actually need from it before you book anything. A couple who needs rest will regret an ambitious ten-city itinerary just as much as a couple who needs adventure will regret a week doing nothing. This is the one trip explicitly designed around the two of you — worth resisting the urge to make it about anyone else’s preferences, including well-meaning family who’d love to tag along.
Neither version is the “real” honeymoon and the other a compromise. They’re just answering different questions. Which one did you choose, or are you planning to do both? Tell us on Instagram — we’re curious how many couples are staggering it versus picking just one.
Until next time,
Margot
