As a follow up to last week’s post on Wedding Organizers and Planners available on local bookshelves I thought I would explore the bigger question: Do you really need the services of a wedding planner? And if so, how on earth do you find “the one” amidst all the glitter and gorgeousness?
To cut through the wedding industry fluff, I recently sat down with Erica Irwin, an Ottawa-based luxury wedding planner with over two decades of experience. Her insights were refreshingly honest and incredibly practical, offering a no-nonsense guide to finding a planner who’s less of a dictatorial fairy godmother and more of your most capable, stress-busting best friend. Having navigated the delightful chaos of wedding planning myself (both personally and professionally), I can attest to the sheer wisdom Erica shared. We dove deep into everything from debunking budget myths to the absolute non-negotiables of vendor selection. So, settle in with your beverage of choice – I have my Dirty Earl Grey from Dao today, and take a moment to see what the world of event planning has to offer you.
Planner vs. Designer: The Ultimate Showdown (and Why It Matters)
First things first, let’s clear up a common misconception that can send many couples spiraling. A wedding planner and a wedding designer are not the same thing. Think of it this way:
- Your Wedding Designer is the creative visionary, the artist painting the beautiful picture of your day. They live and breathe aesthetics, focusing entirely on the look and feel – the color palette, the intricate floral installations, the gorgeous linens, the overall vibe that makes your Instagram feed weep with joy.
- Your Wedding Planner is the logistical mastermind, the air traffic controller orchestrating every single moving piece of your grand production. They handle the nitty-gritty: timelines, floor plans, vendor communication, contingency plans, and a seemingly endless list of checklists. They are the calm force behind the scenes, ensuring that when you walk down the aisle, everything else is running smoother than a freshly polished dance floor.
Erica cannot stress this difference enough: a planner’s experience is paramount. We’re talking at least three years in the industry. Why? Because someone who has only planned their own wedding, while lovely, simply doesn’t have the crucial behind-the-scenes knowledge. They haven’t navigated a last-minute vendor no-show, dealt with a power outage at an outdoor venue, or skillfully managed a rogue bridesmaid (and how to possibly suspect her from the get go). A professional planner knows what questions to ask, what problems to anticipate, and how to calmly handle a crisis before you even know one exists. The key takeaway? You need someone with a professional resume, not just a personal one.
The Price Is Not Right: Debunking Wedding Cost Myths
Before you even think about signing a planner’s contract, Erica and I wholeheartedly agreed on one critical point: you need a clear budget. Or, at the very least, a crystal-clear idea of what you’re willing (and able) to spend. Countless couples book a dreamy venue, only to later realize that a huge chunk of their budget is gone before they’ve even thought about flowers or photographers.
This is where the internet, bless its heart, can lead you astray. Erica was quick to point out that the oft-cited “average wedding cost” of $40,000 is, frankly, a total fabrication. It’s a figure that hasn’t changed in 17 years and is wildly inaccurate for today’s market, especially when you factor in catering, which can consume a significant portion of your budget.
Your very first conversation with a reputable planner should revolve around budget allocation. They’re not there to judge your numbers; they’re there to help you realistically distribute your funds across all categories. What are your non-negotiables? Is it a gourmet food experience? Top-tier photography? An open bar that flows endlessly? A good planner will help you identify your priorities and then meticulously allocate funds to bring your unique vision to life without causing unnecessary financial stress.
The Art of the Personality Match: Finding Your Wedding Soulmate (Professionally Speaking)
Hiring a planner isn’t just a business transaction; it’s a deeply personal partnership. You’ll be spending a lot of time with this person, sharing intimate details, and entrusting them with one of the most important days of your life. Erica shared that she can often tell within the first meeting if a prospective couple is a good fit. What she seeks above all is trust. She’s looking for clients who trust her expertise, are realistic about their budget, and aren’t interested in aggressively “price shopping” every single detail. That foundation of trust is absolutely crucial for a smooth and enjoyable journey.
But hold on, it’s a two-way street! You should also be doing some serious assessing. Erica’s sage advice for couples is simple: choose a planner whose experience and portfolio align with the type and budget of wedding you envision. If you’re dreaming of a lavish, multi-day affair, a planner specializing in intimate backyard ceremonies might not be your perfect match. Conversely, if you’re planning a chic, smaller celebration, a planner renowned for grand, sprawling events might be overkill. The goal is to find someone who consistently delivers weddings in a similar style and budget range to yours.
And here’s a bonus tip from Erica: this “personality match” applies to all your vendors! Don’t just pick the cheapest option. Choose the photographers, florists, and caterers whose personalities and processes genuinely gel with yours. These individuals will be part of your inner circle for months, even a year or more. You want them to feel like enthusiastic allies, not just anonymous service providers.
The Vetted List: A Planner’s Secret Weapon (and Your Peace of Mind)
A truly seasoned planner’s most valuable asset isn’t their perfectly organized binder (though that’s important!). It’s their vetted list of vendors. Erica’s list is a carefully curated Rolodex of professionals she trusts implicitly. These aren’t just names pulled from a quick Google search; these are people she’s worked with extensively, who have proven their reliability, skill, and ability to deliver under pressure.
She even maintains a “blacklist” of venues and vendors she simply won’t work with due to past negative experiences. This isn’t about being difficult; it’s about protecting her clients from potential headaches and ensuring a seamless event. If a planner seems willing to work with absolutely anyone, it might be a red flag that they lack the experience to discern quality from chaos.
To keep every single moving part perfectly aligned, Erica relies on a robust tool called Aisle Planner. It’s packed with a 150-item checklist, essentially her intellectual property, outlining every standard wedding planning step over a 12-month period. This comprehensive system covers every base, alleviating client stress about potentially missed details.
Break the Rules and Embrace Your Experience
Erica’s personal philosophy is beautifully simple: a wedding day isn’t “just one day”—it’s a once-in-a-lifetime celebration. Her ultimate goal is to ensure that couples enjoy every single moment, from the excitement of the initial planning to the magic of the last dance. She’s a firm believer in breaking unnecessary traditions that don’t genuinely resonate with you. Don’t want a receiving line? Skip it. Does a grand entrance feel too theatrical? Don’t do it. Your wedding is about you and your partner, and every decision should reflect your authentic selves.
The Highs and Lows of the Planning Journey
So, what makes a wedding planner’s heart sing after two decades in the business? For Erica, it boils down to trust. Her favorite experiences have been with couples and their families who placed their complete faith in her vision and execution. These are the weddings where she gets to work with the “best of the best” vendors, resulting in truly stunning, often award-winning, events. When a couple is genuinely grateful and trusting, the entire planning process becomes a joyous collaboration.
On the flip side, her least favorite experiences involve unorganized venue coordinators. When an in-house venue team is unprepared or unresponsive, it creates constant stress and forces Erica and her team to constantly scramble to mitigate issues behind the scenes. It’s a stark reminder that a wedding is a colossal team effort, and a weak link can significantly jeopardize the entire day. (Rest assured, those venues quickly find themselves on her aforementioned blacklist!)
What are your needs? Is Erica Irwin Weddings for you?
At the end of the day no two weddings are alike and only you can determine what you need to make your day a success. Every Wedding Planner is not necessarily a match for every couple but engaging one is certainly a recommended first step in your wedding adventure.
There are a few things to keep in mind along the way in your search. It goes without saying of course that first and foremost you must make sure they have your date available and that they are willing to service your area if distance is an issue. Then, as Erica mentioned earlier, a minimum of 3 years of experience is essential. Personally, I would add to that and advise to go with a team that has at least three planners to offer you. At the end of the day, this is your Once in a Lifetime but things happen; people get sick, personal situations arise and to put it simply, you do not want to be in a situation where you lose your planner weeks before your wedding day. A wedding planner’s role is to transform a couple’s vision into a reality, handling the intricate details and potential challenges so the couple can focus on what truly matters: celebrating their love. How complex and intricate the planner’s role ends up being depends on how elaborate (or intimate) you visualize your Wedding Day to be. Finally, if you have been dreaming of being married at a particular venue or having a particular vendor present at your wedding, make sure your Wedding Planner is open to working with them and has good relationships with them.
How do you know you have found your Perfect Wedding Planner?
It’s actually very simple. The moment you feel that you could communicate with them less like a service provider and more like your most capable best friend, you know. They’re the one handling the spreadsheets and the logistical gymnastics behind the scenes, allowing you to focus on the fun stuff, the emotional moments, and the sheer joy of your day. They’re the calm in the storm, ensuring you’re a VIP guest at your own wedding, soaking in every moment rather than stressing over details.
In the end, a truly successful wedding day is all about being fully present, completely stress-free, and utterly surrounded by the love you’ve worked so hard to celebrate. Your perfect Wedding Planner is someone who will stress for you behind the scenes (Its their passion) and become your friend for years to come. So if you have your vision for your wedding day set, its time to ‘date’ some Wedding Planners for a match🥂
Nandini xoxo for TastersHUB Catering & Events
“You are my today and all of my tomorrows.” – Leo Christopher
